Doctor Who: Just His Cup of Tea
by puppy dangerous
Summary: Something strange is going on in the Tardis. Why is their location a reading of probability, and were did that llama come from?


Martha rolls over and reaches for the retreating cloak of sleep. No, don't go. Not yet. I haven't been in bed long enough.

The engine is going, a whooshing, pumping sound that starts to lull her back into the arms of sleep like the waves of an infinite ocean.

Then she hears it again. Martha gets up and stands as still as she can.

It's not a sound, really. It's the way it would feel if she were standing inside one of those huge temple bells that monks strike with a log, but unable to hear the tone. Or maybe a fish in a tank with a little boy tapping on the glass. She can feel the floor vibrate softly with it, not hard enough to rattle anything.

Martha walks out into the hall and starts toward the console room.

The sound of the engine dies abruptly.

The Doctor is in the console room, leaning on a center panel. He has a look of concentration on his face, but he isn't looking at anything in particular. He turns around abruptly and sees her.

"Go tell me what that says over there." He says, pointing.

Martha crosses the room and looks a the small screen.

"It says 10 to the 5,987, 561st to one.." She says.

"Come again?" The Doctor says.

"Wait, it just changed." Martha says. "10 to the 5,987, 560th to one." She says. "It's falling."

The Doctor walks over and looks at the screen. He takes his glasses off, looks down at them, then looks back up.

"What's it mean?" Martha asks.

"It looks like a measure of probability." The Doctor says. "But why..."

Martha wraps her arms across her belly and watches the Doctor as he strides around, making occasional confused looks at equipment.

"So, what's going on?" She asks.

"We've stopped." He says.

"Stopped where?" Martha prompts.

"Looks like the ladies loo in some department store." He reports.

All he can see through the external cameras are close walls and a stall door, thankfully one of the kind that opens out. He pulls the door open and is about to walk out into the bathroom when he hears a door open.

"Yeah, mum, I'll just be a minute." A woman says. "Meet you at the checkout."

The Doctor catches his breath. Can it be? No, it must just be someone who sounds like her.

A cell phone rings. He hears her dig in her bag for it.

"Hello? Arnold, I really don't have time for-what? No, wolf. Wolf. W-O-L-F. Bad Wolf. Get it?" She says. "Yeah. Yeah, look, I really have to-"

He pushes the door open.

Rose Tyler is standing at the bank of sinks with her back to him. She sees his movement, registers that something is wrong, and her head snaps up as she gives a startled, strangled yelp. Then she sees who it is, drops the cell phone (the person on the other end is now calling her name and asking if she can hear him) and screams " Doctor !"

For a moment she'd been sure he would only appear in the mirror, but there he is. Standing in the womens bathroom of a bed and bath outlet. For once, he doesn't look like he meant to be here. In fact, he looks just as shocked as she is.

"Are you...are you really here?" Rose asks.

The Doctor opens his mouth, then closes it again.

She reaches out to touch his arm. He's solid. Totally solid. The fabric of his jacket is heavy between her fingers.

"I thought you couldn't travel to parallel worlds." She says wonderingly.

The engine sounds from the stall.

"Come on." The Doctor grabs her arm.

Rose doesn't hesitate for a second. She follows him right inside and closes the door.

He hasn't told the Tardis where to go, but she apparently decides for herself. The Time Rotor starts plunging, the engines sound.

Martha is eying Rose. Rose, meanwhile, has seen Martha and is giving her a look that is both curious and undeniably dominating. I don't know who you are or how you got here , that look says, but I'm the top dog and you'd do well not to forget that.

The Doctor has been leaning over the center console, his hands flat on it. He seems to be trying to talk himself either into or out of something.

"Doctor." Rose says in a tone that is conspicuously even. "What's going on? I though it was impossible for you to get here?"

"Well, strictly speaking, it isn't impossible ," The Doctor says "Just incredibly, ridiculously mind-blowingly improbable."

"Who is that?" Martha demands. "And what is she doing here?"

"What are you doing here?" Rose says back.

"I belong here!" Martha says hotly.

"Yeah, well so do I." Rose says.

"Rose this is Martha Jones." The Doctor says. "Martha this is Rose Tyler." He pauses, then adds as an afterthought "Please don't talk to each other."

"What?" Rose turns around and levels a death stare at Martha, who sends it right back at her.

The Doctor stands back and watches the two women size each other up. He hopes,hopes that Martha doesn't actually think the two of them have any sort of a romantic chance. He doesn't think so, not anymore at least, but you can never be sure.

And one of the things he's learned is that you do not, under any circumstances, want to be in the middle of a battle of women.

He spins around and starts to tell them to knock that off and get along, or at least take it somewhere else so he can hear himself think, when both of them get identical looks of confusion and horror on their faces.

He snaps around.

The time rotor is gone.

Standing in it's place, balanced on top of the control panel, is a very startled looking Llama.

Martha and Rose watch him stomp around the console room. He shakes his hands at the ceiling. He threatens the gods you have been around for nine hundred years, you pick up quite a repertoire of expletives, and the Doctor seems determined to run through every one. It's almost two hours later when he finally stops.

Rose and Martha have gone to the kitchen, fetched lunch, and are now sitting right by the doorway to the console room. The Llama, which they have named Llary, has laid down and is letting them lean on him. All three of them have become downright chummy to a backdrop of foul language.

Martha laughs. "They were really dummies?"

"Oh, yeah." Rose says with a nod. "I though it was a joke at first, mind you."

Martha is nodding, perfectly understandable. "Until they tried to kill you."

"Yeah." Rose cracks a smile. "Then, out of nowhere, this strange man grabbed my hand." She flicks her eyes up to the Doctor.

Martha has seen that look before. The Doctor talks about this woman all the time, and she hopes this time around she'll knock some sense into him. She decides that she likes Rose very much.

Llary has gotten accustomed to the constant shrieking of his third companion, and decided that it must be perfectly normal. When he finally shuts up the silence frightens Llary so much that he bolts to his feet and stands there shaking.

Rose picks up the glass of water beside her and holds it up.

"Thank you." The Doctor takes it and drinks half the glass in a few swallows.

"So..." Rose says, standing up and nodding at the missing time rotor "What about that, then?"

The Doctor walks over. "Well, the good news is that everything still seems to be working. Well, we can't actually go anywhere, but at least we're not going to die here. Not until we run out of food, at least. And I'm sure we'll be picked up way before then. Of course, we have no way of knowing exactly where we are, so maybe we won't..." He taps his lip with a forefinger. "I suppose if worst comes to worst, we'll eat that thing. Llama isn't bad, if you cook it right."

"Ssh. Don't listen to him." Rose clamps her hands over Llary's ears.

The Doctor gives her an exasperated look.

"Doctor?" Martha asks hesitantly. "You're kidding, right?"

Martha is starting to get the feeling that he wasn't when another hour has passed and he doesn't seem to be making any progress.

He is currently examining the llama, turning its head, opening its mouth. The Doctor has stripped down to his t-shirt. The underarms and across his back have darkened with sweat.

For his part, Llary seems to be adjusting to life in the Tardis fairly well. Martha had always heard they were agile animals, even seen videos of them climbing stairs and walking around inside apartments, and apparently it's true.

Rose and Martha are sitting on the floor with a small inter space radio, systematically trying every channel with a call for help. So far all she's gotten is static. Not that it will do them much good, since according to the Tardis their coordinates are "10 to the 469th to one".

Then the lights go out.

The Doctor starts screaming. Not the type of screaming that means somebody has broken into the ship, fatally wounded him, and is now making off with the woman and the llama. The kind of screaming that suggests anybody in his way remove themselves immediately.

Llary panics and bolts. After not even so much as brushing up against any of the equipment, he now tramples, bawling, around the console room. Rose and Martha have both gotten up, but Llary manages to tread on Martha's foot and then knock Rose down.

The Doctor is still cursing, now combining phrases from his previous recitation into very colorful descriptions of what he's going to do to whoever or whatever is responsible for this.

The second time he comes around, Rose tackles Llary. She somehow gets him around the neck.

Llary makes sound of protest and rears up on his hind legs- at least, that's what she thinks he's doing.

Martha sticks out a hand, feels fluffy fur, and makes a grab. She is at thrashing hindquarters, and she avoids the plunging legs and slides her hand up the animals side until she meets Rose's hand, then grabs the animal around the neck, too.

Rose is trying unsuccessfully to comfort the animal, making shushing sounds.

With both of them, at least, the llama tires quickly. After a few more minutes he simply stands, panting slightly.

There is a thump from outside. Not one of the ones they'd felt earlier. This one is much more solid. Definitely something hitting the side of the Tardis.

Llary starts.

"Get off, stupid!" Rose shoves at him with both of her elbows, trying to yank her foot free of his. "Get off!"

Llary doesn't want to leave the comfort of this girl, and tries to lean on her. Rose isn't savvy to his advances, though.

"I though you guys were supposed to mind your feet!" Rose gasps.

Martha grabs him and yanks him sideways, and he stumbles off of Rose. She tries to rub her foot but a hairy head bangs into her as Llary tries to bury his head in her chest.

The Doctor walks over and puts his ear to the door. They should be floating in space. Nothing should be banging out there.

The Doctor, Rose, Martha, and Llary crowd around the door, listening.

"What is it, do you think?" Someone asks. A man.

"It looks like...no, it can't be." Another man.

"It's a police call box." A woman this time.

"Hey, yeah...right...really swish. Doesn't go with the deco though." A third man, this one sounds half tanked.

"You could always paint it." the first man says.

"Hey, yeah..." The third man. "Right, got that bucket of green paint over there...Marvin, come here, you know what's a lot of fun?"

"No." A melancholy voice says. "I don't. I've never had fun in my life. It's always 'Marvin, go fetch the prisoners', 'Marvin, steal that ship' ' Marvin, wait for us for 576,000,003,579 years.' And me with this horrible pain in all the diodes up my left side."

"Yes, yes, Marvin, we're all sorry about your diodes." The woman says.

"No you're not." Marvin says sullenly.

"Oh, just get on with it." The third man says loudly.

"Alright, alright." Marvin says. "But I should probably warn you..."

"What, Marvin?" The woman asks crossly.

"It's just that the Time Lord in there probably won't appreciate you painting his Tardis. But that's alright. You can just tell him the robot did it. That's what everybody says. Brain the size of a planet..." He trails off.

The Doctor has heard enough. He opens the door.

When he steps through, the worried aura he'd been giving off disappears. He goes out with his hands in his pockets and a careless and curious expression on his face. If there is one thing the Doctor is particularly good at, it's bluffing. People generally do what you tell them to if you look like you know what you're doing, regardless of how much of it is actually complete bullshit.

Neither Rose nor Martha have a track record of staying put when he tells them to, so he doesn't bother trying to make them stay doesn't want to leave the little blue box that has been his rather chaotic home since he spontaneously materialized several hours ago. However, he has decided that Rose is the only voice of reason around here. Or, at least, the person least likely to get him made into llama stew.

The first thing they notice is the man standing to the left. He isn't any closer, larger, or more important looking than the three other people. He does, however, have two heads.

One of the heads is trying to look relaxed while the other one seems to be nodding off.

"Zaphod Beeblebrox!" The Doctor roars, pointing one dagger like finger at this two headed man. "I should have known this was something to do with you!"

Zaphod backs up, his hands raised. "Hey...now...be cool...all just a misunderstanding...never seen the girl before, I swear..."

The Doctor glares at him, then he looks around, distracted by the ship.

"Wha...This isn't..." The Doctor says. "It is. No, it can't be..."

Zaphod straightens up and looks important. "Well, you know, had to have the best..."

"How in the world did you get a hold of the Heart of Gold?" The Doctor asks.

"Stole it." The second man has walked around to stand beside the Doctor. He has a slightly stretched look about his face and, Rose has noticed, seems to not blink very often.

The Doctor looks over at the man who just spoke. He looks pleasantly surprised.

"Ix!" He says happily.

"I thought that was you." The man called Ix says. "You've changed a bit."

"You haven't." The Doctor says.

"You're not all that's changed, either. This idiot you're talking to is the president of the galaxy."

The Doctor looks shocked. "No."

Ix nods gravely.

"What in the- Has the whole world gone mad?" The Doctor shouts. This reminds him of the reason they're there in the first place and he turns his attention back to Zaphod. . "You did this. You undo it."

"Hey...be cool..." Zaphod says.

"Put my ship right." The Doctor demands.

"What, don't you want to stay around for a drink or two..?" Zaphod pleads. "What do you say, girls, a little party?"

"Fix it!" The Doctor roars.

Zaphod cowers.

"Won't do any good." Ix says. "He doesn't know a bloody thing about it, either."

"The good news is that we're all alright, though." The last man has finally spoken. "Right? We picked your spaceship up, we'll just take you to somewhere you can get repairs. It can't be that hard, can it? Where was it built?"

"I'm sorry, what was your name?" The Doctor asks him.

"Dent." The man says. "Arthur Dent."

"It's not a 'space ship', it's a Tardis, and they're not built, they're grown, and yes, to answer your question, Mister Arthur Dent, it can be that hard it is, in fact, almost impossible, as the engine of my ship is now a llama ! Thank you for your interest." His voice raises steadily though this. He seems to be going from Annoyance to Righteous Fury.

"Ignore him." Ix advises. "He's from Earth."

"Hey!" Arthur says.

Martha walks over to Arthur and introduces herself, partly to talk to someone else who is making an ounce of sense and partly to keep him from trying to talk to the Doctor again.

"Fine, you don't know how to work the ship. I'll do it." The Doctor says.

Rose and Martha both heave sighs of relief.

"Won't do any good." A melancholy voice says.

They all turn. For the first time, Rose and Martha notice the robot. He's holding a bucket of green paint and painting the Tardis.

"And why is that?" The Doctor asks sharply.

"Eddie's sulking." Marvin says.

"Who's Eddie?" Rose asks.

"The ships computer." Ix says.

"Look, I only said that he could do it a little faster, that's all..." Zaphod says. "Who knew he'd take it so personally."

"You called him a worthless, outmoded, used up scrap heap, and then you insulted his mother." the woman says. "Fifty two times."

"Oh, come on..." Zaphod starts.

"Then you made Marvin try to cheer him up." Arthur adds.

"Honestly, you should know better." Trillian says.

"A little robot heart to heart, it can't hurt can it?" Zaphod asks.

They all glare at him.

"Hey! Stop that!" The Doctor says suddenly.

Marvin looks over sullenly.

"Start and stop, I wish you people would make up your minds." He trudges off.

"See, absolutely useless." Zaphod says.

The Doctor's gaze has turned positively homicidal. . Rose thinks he's-but no, the Doctor doesn't have a habit of-oh no, there he goes. She grabs his arm as he lunges.

"I'm going to kill him !" the Doctor shouts. "Let me go!"

"Not a chance!" Rose shouts.

Martha grabs his other arm.

The Doctor struggles for a second, then gives up. He could shake them off if he really wanted to, but it's hardly worth it.

"Come on, there has to be a way to work this out..." The last man says.

"No offense, Arthur, but your negotiating skills aren't exactly phenomenal at the best of times." the woman says.

"Maybe not, but mine aren't to shoddy." The Doctor says. "Alright, Beeblebrox, lead the way. I'm going to have a little talk with your ship.

The man with the sharp face and unblinking eyes watches him leave, then turns to the girls with a smile.

"Hi." He says brightly. "Ford Prefect, I write for The Guide."

He offers Rose his hand first, then Martha, and they introduce themselves.

"Rose, Martha, this is Arthur Dent and Trillian." Ford says, motioning to the other man and the girl.

"Where are you from?" Rose asks.

Martha expects him to say something like Surry. She's surprised when he doesn't.

"Betelgeuse." He says.

"Ah." Rose says. "Which one?"

He looks suddenly very pleased. "Seven."

Rose looks thoughtful She remembers the Doctor telling her something about Betelgeuse Seven. Some sort of collapse, but it won't come back to her.

"Well, come on then." Ford says. "Arthur, Trillian? Care to join us?"

"What are we doing?" Arthur asks.  
"Getting bloody drunk." Ford says darkly.

They find Zaphod at the table, gulping something straight out of a bottle.

"Abandoned your guest?" Trillian asks.

"That cat's scary." Zaphod says. "Really...Tried to help, but he sent me away-I mean he didn't appreciate my efforts, so I thought my energy could be better used somewhere else."

"Like warming a barstool?" Martha asks.

Zaphod twists around to look at her.

"I could warm you up." He offers.

"No thank you." Martha edges away from him.

"Can't blame a chap for trying." Zaphod says.

"I blame you for breathing !" The Doctor says as he strides purposefully into the room and snatches the bottle out of Zaphod's hand.

He turns around, his glare passing over all of them (though softening slightly when it touches Rose) then  
stalks back out.

Rose follows him. Martha starts to go, but Arthur grabs her arm.

"So, you got off with this chap, did you?" Arthur asks.

"Oh, no, we're just...well, friends, I guess." Martha says.

"I meant off the planet." Arthur says. "Before the Vogons destroyed it."

"What in the world are you talking about?" Martha asks. "The Earth isn't destroyed. It's still there."

"Hasn't happened for her yet." Ford comments. "Time travel and all that."

"Hasn't happened yet? But...No, no way. Earth is around for billions of years yet." Martha says.

"No it isn't." Ford says. "Bunch of Vogons destroyed it to make way for a space highway. Sorry to break it to you."

Rose finds the Doctor flopped in one of the chairs in the control room. He's drinking straight out of the bottle, too.

"Oh, come on. This ship is a technological marvel! It's amazing! You're amazing! Alright, so Zaphod, well, he's just to stupid to be alive. And that robot is just depressing. But in the long run, you know..." The Doctor is saying.

"You don't know the things I've done." Eddie says.

"Lay it on me." The Doctor says. "It can't possibly be that bad."

Eddie starts talking. The Doctor is walking around, poking at things. He slides panels open and points the sonic screwdriver into them.

Half an hour passes.

An hour.

After that, the pleasure of the Doctors presence in the room is outweighed by the horribly depressing monologue. Eddie is describing a sperm whale being dropped from a mile above the ground and the sound it made when it hit when Rose finally has enough.

The Doctor gives her a look that clearly says Lucky for you, you can leave.

Rose finds Zaphod, Ford, Arthur, Trillian, and Martha sitting on a semi circular couch. Everybody looks slightly drunk and they are laughing at some story Ford is telling.

Martha looks up questioningly. Rose rolls her neck around.

"My god, I'm surprised you all haven't shot yourselves yet." She collapses onto a chair.

Martha walks back toward the control room. She can hear the Doctor talking. She stops just outside the doorway to listen.

"Ok, well..." the Doctor is saying. "That's...hm, I mean..."

"You see? Nothing good at all. I'm useless." The computer says.

The Doctor lifts his head suddenly. "No...No, you're not. You've done something amazing."

"What's that." Eddie asks apathetically.

"I travel around. A lot" He prefaces his story.

"It gets a bit lonely, boring, out there alone. Like to keep somebody with me, you know. Just friends." He says. "It's always just friends. Sometimes lads, sometimes girls, it doesn't really matter. Not the type of friends he has-" He jerks his thumb at the door to indicate Beeblebrox.

"But the thing is, they always leave. And they should, I mean, wouldn't want to keep knocking about the universe with myself, either. But it hurts, you know."

He stands up.

"There was this one girl, though. She was different. Rose." He smiles.

"And I...well...Ah, Eddie. You have no idea. I was so... incredibly in love with her.

I thought that would make it so much worse when she finally took off, so I never said anything."

As he talks, he starts working a large silver panel up from the side of the ship. He looks like he's just exploring, the way he always has to, can't keep his hands off of things.

She had this boyfriend, Ricky, he used to drive me crazy. I was jealous, it's horrible but it's true." He shoves the sonic screwdriver into the opening and turns it on. " And I think...I think she would have dumped him in a second if I just opened my mouth. But I wouldn't. Then..." He sighs.

He closes the panel and turns around.

"Then it happened. I lost her. Lost her somewhere there was no hope of me ever getting her back. And I realized something. It would have been worth it. I'd loose her a thousand times over if I had to, if it would mean I could be with her before."

Martha has pressed herself into a corner, just out of sight around the door. She's biting her lip, trying not to make a sound.

"How's that supposed to cheer me up?" Eddie ask.

"When you were pitching your fit earlier, at a probability, I might add, of 10 to the 5,987,561st , to one. you threw my Tardis straight through to another dimension. Not only to another dimension, but to the one Rose happened to be in, not to add her exact location." The Doctor says.

He punctuates this by slamming his hand down on the control panel.

"You gave a very old man a second chance." He says.

The lights go out.

"Eddie? Eddie? Come on!" The Doctor says hotly.

Martha turns quickly and slips back down toward what Zaphod calls the lounge.

"So then, we finally get there, and he's in a bleeding lawn chair sunning himself." Rose is saying.

Zaphod guffaws.

"So, did you ever figure out what happened?" Arthur asks.

"You were on the wrong side of the planet." Ford says suddenly. "See, it's right here." He's waving his copy of the Hitchhikers Guide. "See, here we go. Balaxxacontilius 9."

The Hitchhikers guide has this to say about Balaxxacontilius 9:

Balaxxacontilius 9 is a small moon orbiting the planet Bararaxacorocoliphia and boasts the dubious honor of being voted both the star systems best place to get lunch and the worst place to live five years running. It is also one of the thirty-six occupied worlds that has a "good side" and a "bad side".

The good side, of course, is the one you want to have lunch on.

The guide then goes on for several pages about a particular kind of sandwich, how it is made, where you can get it, and why you don't ever want to ask exactly what they made it out of.

After a bit, it settles down and gets back to useful information.

However, an after-lunch boat ride is not encouraged, as within minutes of sailing away from the trendy bistros you pass over to what is called the Wrong Side of the planet, and will promptly yourself become lunch for the Balaxxacontilianthians, -which, on account of being so hard to pronounce properly, are usually just referred to by the natives in public as "The Frogs" and in private as "those disgusting slimy bags of filth who never brush their teeth."-are medium sized amphibious beings who live in a vast system of tunnels dug down beneath the ocean that covers most of the planet. Their tunnels may run the whole planet over, but they only exit the subterranean tunnels in order to tend their young, which are maintained in three large hatcheries which also resemble a very good place to land.

This is unfortunate, as one of the key ingredients in a Balaxxa-blast, a particularly popular alcoholic beverage, is the fluid from the inside of Balazzacontilianthian frog eggs, and poaching has become so bad that anybody who so much as looks at a hatching ground is likely to be either enslaved or eaten.

For this reason the drink costs approximately twice as much as anybody thinks it should, and consequently they are the planet's best selling item.

"So, what about you?" Ford asks Martha. "How did you come to the misfortune of the Doctors company?"

"Well," Martha starts, "I was a medical intern..."

Rose has heard this story, they swapped them earlier, and has to go to the bathroom. On her way back, she bumps into somebody in the hall.

She twists around, trying to say sorry, then realizes that whoever it is has taken hold of her arm.

She looks up, surprised. It's the Doctor.

"What is it?" Rose asks.

Instead of answering, he puts his other hand lightly on her shoulder and pushes her back. She hits the wall with a small thump and a gasp. His hand is soft when it touches her neck, rests on her jaw, and gently tilts her head up.

For a second he looks at her in the semi-darkness. She can hear him breathing in the close space and the heat radiating off of his body makes an almost tangible aura that spins out between them.

Oh, please , she thinks with a desperation that she finds terrifying.

Then, thank you, oh merciful god his lips brush hers lightly, barely a kiss.

They hover there, slightly open. She pushes her fingers into his hair and pulls him closer. He comes with no hesitation, closing the tiny gap between them.

His hands wander as he kisses her. Down her neck, across her shirt, they find her hands and his fingers twine with hers briefly. When they brush over her hip her knees go weak. He leans into her, pushing her more tightly to the wall and keeping her from falling.

The Doctor's fingers trace a light line down the outside seam of her jeans, he comes back up with his whole hand, stroking her leg up and gently tugging her hips against his.

Rose gasps softly, then leans back so she can look at him. He's still in his t-shirt, looking rumpled now. He shifts his upper body away from her, his hands falling to rest on her hips.

"Hello, Rose" He says with a rather sheepish grin. "How have you been?"

Rose grins back at him, thinking she must look like an idiot but not caring. "Doing better."

"Yeah?" He says. "Why's that?"

She slides her hands over his sides and up his chest. When they reach his shoulders he reaches across and takes her hand. He kisses her hand gently, then lets it go. Rose traces the line of his jaw, then tucks a ragged piece of hair behind his ear.

"Oy! Get a room, you two!" Ford shouts.

"Sod off." The Doctor shouts back pleasantly.

Ford laughs and makes some comment that Rose can't quite understand, but seems to involve complex ethics and how the Doctor is currently breaking them.

"So..." Rose says. "You were going to tell me something?"

"What?" The Doctor looks honestly confused.

"When you made me drive halfway across the world to get collect call from you?" She says. "Remember?"

Of course he does. He just hadn't been thinking of anything remotely like that trip. Lots has happened to him since then. He supposes a lot to Rose, too, but he'd imagine that didn't seem terribly important to her. Makes him sound bloody conceited, but that doesn't mean it isn't true. Rose would have been bored to tears there.

"I love you."

It surprises even him, the way it just comes out. Then again, how many times has he said it in his head? Hundreds, probably thousands.

Rose cracks a smile at him. "I know."

She wrinkles her nose slightly. "I love you, too."

The Doctor grins back at her. "I know."

Rose hits him on the shoulder.

The lights flicker, then come back on. Both of them look up, surprised.

"Hey there, everybody. This is Eddie, your friendly computer, and I'd just like to say what a pleasure it is being able to work with you guys. Systems are almost fully operational, and we should be moving again in about half an hour. Thank you, and have a great day." Eddie says happily.

"I can't believe it!" Trillian is shouting.

"You did it!" Zaphod shouts.

"Wait, did you just talk the computer out of a suicidal stupor?" Ford asks.

"I'm sorry, are we interrupting something?" Arthur asks.

They've all come into the hall. Rose feels a surge of annoyance.

Ford grabs the Doctor by the shoulder and pulls him away from Rose. "Good, now that all that's done with, come have a drink with me."

Before any protests can be made, Ford throws an arm around the time lords shoulders and guides him back down the hall. "So, what's this business I've been hearing about you snogging Madame de Pompadour?"

Rose follows a few steps behind, still feeling a little lightheaded.

This is the way it's supposed to be, she thinks. Sitting on an alien ship with a bunch of strangers, swapping stories, yes, much better. She'll make the Doctor explain to her exactly how she got back here later, but for now she's just happy to be here.

"Not so hard, computers, not once you learn to reason with them..." The Doctor is saying.

Rose tries to walk past him, but he snags her arm and pulls her around to stand in front of him, then threads his arms under hers and wraps them around her body. Rose leans back on him.

"Doctor." Martha says, giving him an odd look. "Why are they saying the Earth is gone?"

"Hm?" The Doctor blinks at her politely.

"Got demolished. For some space road." Martha crosses her arms over her chest and arches an eyebrow at him. "Care to share?"

"What? Oh, that." The Doctor waves in an offhand way.

"Oh that?" Rose tries to twist around and have a look at him. "What do you mean 'oh, that'?"

"Bit of a misunderstanding, that's all." He flips on a blinding smile. "Nothing to worry about. All taken care of."

"But-" Martha and Rose sputter together.

"Is that Old Janx Spirit?" The Doctor says suddenly, dropping his arms from around Rose and striding over to the table.

Ford grins. "It is indeed. What do you say, old chap? Fancy a few rounds before you hit the road?"

The Doctor throws himself down on the couch across the table.

The radio starts working again. Music floats through the air.

Rose is about to sit down beside him, but the Doctor puts an arm around her waist and pulls her into his lap. Rose squeaks in surprise but is happy to put an arm around his neck and rest her head against his.

"So," Rose says. "Did you really change his mind by just talking to him?"

The Doctor and Ford are both watching the bottle with unusual intensity.

"No, of course I didn't." The Doctor says in an offhand way. "The talking was just to keep him distracted."

The bottle suddenly tilts sideways and liquid splashes into the shot glass on his side.

The Doctor picks the clear glass up, gives Ford a daring look, then tips it back.

"I changed his mind with this." The Doctor continues, pulling something silver and slightly longer than a pen out of his pocket. The Sonic Screwdriver.

Rose starts to laugh, so does the Doctor. They all laugh, in the end.

Except, of course, for Marvin.


End file.
